5 Ways Fear of Failure is Keeping You from Your Goals

Goals

Goals…those ever-elusive things that we set for ourselves in order to achieve greatness.

Goal-setting is talked about a lot in the field of education and to be honest I love to incorporate it into my personal life. I set goals for everything!

For me personally, I love to know where I am headed. When I set a goal, it gives me a target. This makes it easier to plan a strategy for how I will get there.

Reflection

In the last couple of months, I have had more time than usual to reflect on my goals and how well I am reaching them. This self-reflection was insightful and a little disheartening.

My health goals are always a struggle for me. I will set good, attainable goals, but I really struggle to ever reach them.

It always seems that something is getting in my way. I have come to realize that my fear of failure is keeping me from reaching my goals.

What is Fear of Failure

In the education realm, we frequently talk about a fear of failure being an issue for kids. Sometimes they don’t want to start a new task because they are afraid of failing. However, this is not something that is limited to kids, though it was likely learned during childhood.

As adults, we become more sophisticated about the ways we avoid things. If you have a fear of failure, you are likely to not attempt anything where success cannot be guaranteed.

I started doing more research on the topic because I wanted to see if this is possibly what is holding me back.

I was surprised to learn that it is a medical condition called atychiphobia and can be part of anxiety disorder. As with most things, symptoms can range from mild to severe.

How Does Fear of Failure Show Up

Fear of Failure can present itself in many different ways. You may see physical or emotional symptoms. I am not a doctor, so I can’t say that if you are showing these symptoms you definitely have fear of failure. However, if these symptoms fit you and you are concerned about it, it might be worth making a doctor’s appointment for a consultation.

Some symptoms include: raised heart rate, rapid breathing, hot or cold flashes, difficulty breathing, intense feeling of panic, feeling a loss of control, need to escape the situation, and feeling powerless.

How Fear of Failure Keeps You from Your Goals

1. Self-Sabotage

You find ways to prevent yourself from reaching your goals and then make excuses. This could look like saying “all these different diets just don’t work for me. They are too restrictive and I can’t stick to them.”

This shows up for me in both diet and exercise goals, but mainly diet. I will start on a new diet plan. I am excited and things are going well.

Then there is a holiday coming up or maybe a party. I allow myself to go off the plan once and then I say “might as well make the most of it.” That leads to day after day of being “off plan.”

This “indulgence” is really an intentional thing for me. Every time I go “off plan” it is sooo much harder to get back to it. I usually end up giving up and chalking it and chalking it up to another failure.

This seems to be easier than sticking to the plan and having to answer for why I am not seeing the expected level of success.

2. Procrastination

You put off the things that you need to do to reach your goals and then realize you “ran out of time.” This could look like prioritizing lesser things and saying that they just had to be done. Meanwhile, there is no time left for the tasks that will help you achieve your goals.

Procrastination shows up for me in exercise. I will frequently set exercise goals for myself. Then, I get busy of a project that just “had to be done.” This leaves me with no time left to go for that walk before it got dark or make it to the gym on time for that class.

It is almost as if I look for things that are “more important” so that I don’t have to feel guilty about not exercising. As a matter of fact, I think I am doing this right now.

I need to go take a walk, but I am telling myself that I need to get this post up. Uggghhh…going to take a walk and then I’ll be back.

3. Perfectionism

You don’t even bother to start something if you don’t think you can do it perfectly. One example of this would be coming up with a plan, but then not telling anyone in case you decide you don’t want to do it.

For me perfectionism and self-sabotage go hand in hand. I frequently sabotage my efforts which makes it super hard to try a new plan because I tell myself there is not point since I won’t succeed anyway.

The key here is to redefine what success looks like. It is not reasonable to expect that every day will be perfect or that you will do a task perfectly every day.

However, if you define success as taking positive steps toward that goal, you will be more likely to get started.

4. Excuses

You find a million excuses for why things aren’t working out or why you can’t complete a task. It is as though the excuse makes it okay that you didn’t succeed.

This is pretty self-explanatory and I would imagine that you have already thought of plenty of instances where this has happened to you.

5. Fear of People’s Opinion

You worry about what others will think of you if you fail at something. This fear becomes even more pronounced if you have had a past experience where people have judged your failure.

Being so concerned about other people’s thoughts, you are likely to do one of the above items to protect yourself from that fear of failure.

This was a real issue for me when I contemplated going to the gym. I was worried that people would judge me before I even got started and then I was afraid that if I didn’t make the “expected” progress, they would judge me as a failure all the more.

The honest truth of the matter is that everyone was there to improve their own health and they really didn’t care what I was doing. This is just another way we end up giving other people way too much power in our life.

What Now?

When it comes to the area of health, I would venture to say that fear of failure has shown up for me in all the previous five ways. It consistently keeps me from reaching my health goals.

I believe that recognizing it is a problem is the first step to taking control of this.

So, what can be done? As previously stated, I am not a doctor. If your fear of failure is severe and has really taken hold in your life, it may be time to consult a physician.

For the rest of us, what comes after recognizing the problem? I am currently trying a few different strategies.

Attainable Goals

The first thing is to set up more attainable goals that are in smaller increments. For example, this week I am working on hitting 10,000 steps five out of the seven days. This gives me an out if one day something happens and I don’t meet that mini goal.

It is very doable and trackable. I am not looking to change every aspect of health plan. When that is successful, I am going to add in another mini goal that will lead towards my ultimate big goal.

Growth Mindset

You may have noticed that I said “when that is successful.” I am also working on changing my mindset.

Having a growth mindset will help me to see any potential “failures” as learning opportunities, rather than the end of that goal. I work hard to teach my students to have a growth mindset, yet in the area of health, I struggle to keep one myself.

Friends

It is also important to know that you don’t have to do it alone. Find a good friend that you feel comfortable being vulnerable with. Regularly check in with them to share how you are feeling and how you are doing towards reaching your mini goals.

Big Take-Away

The big take-away is that if you are having difficulty reaching your goals, do a serious reflection on why this is happening. Consider that you could have a fear of failure that is keeping you from reaching your goals.

Recognizing that a fear of failure is holding you back will help you to adjust your plan and strategy so you can once again make progress toward your goals.

You may have some other good ideas about how to overcome a fear of failure. Feel free to leave your ideas in the comments. I would love to read them. Let’s remember that set backs are never really failures, only learning opportunities.